One Language? By Jack Pillemer

Both Englishmen and Americans speak the same language. Or do they?

American and English vocabulary is not identical as the following passage will show.

"I am a visitor on vacation in London and my passport and money have been stolen," said the American tourist to the policeman behind the desk.

"I see, sir. Would you describe what happened," replied the policeman.

"Well, I was standing on the sidewalk outside a candy store eating some potato chips when a hobo approached me. His appearance was repulsive in many ways. He wore broken sneakers, a pair of pants two sizes too large for him held up by over-stretched suspenders, and a dirty white shirt. Suddenly he grabbed my bag and began to run. I immediately chased after him. He tried to hide in the bathroom of a gas station but jumped out of the window when I began banging on the door. With me close on his heels, he darted into a building and, unfortunately, the elevator doors closed just as I got there. I ran up the stairs and saw him opening the front door to an apartment. By the time I reached the apartment, he had already jumped from a window to the fire escape and was making his way through the garbage cans below. I lost sight of him as he walked behind a huge truck."

The policeman scratched his head in concentration and then said, " Now let me see if I understand you correctly, sir. You are an American, here on holiday. You were standing on the pavement outside a sweet shop eating crisps when a tramp ran off with your handbag. You chased him into the toilet of a petrol station but he got away through the window. You then followed him into a building but the lift doors closed just before you could get in. You saw him going into a flat but he escaped again. You last saw him walking away through some rubbish bins and then disappearing behind a lorry. You say he was wearing a pair of broken gymshoes, a pair of large trousers held up by braces and a white shirt. Is that right, sir?"

"Yes," replied the tourist, " I think that is what I said."

Photo: "Colin sporting new suspenders" by northways is licensed under CC BY 2.0

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